It is all about stereotypes. When people think of mainland Chinese, they would have this stereotypical image of a Chinese who talks loudly in public, spits everywhere and suffers from extreme poverty. I am a Chinese born and bred in mainland China and I know very well that not everyone is like that. In fact, many people are very courteous and well-behaved in public. One bitter experience with a Singaporean student in a local secondary school is constantly reminding me how detrimental stereotypes are in inter-cultural communications.
A few years ago, my mum bought me a very fancy limited edition Swatch watch in London. I loved it very much and wore it on the first day of school. During recess period, one classmate noticed my new watch and asked me to pass it to her so that she could take a closer look. I gladly agreed. How awesome it was for a teenager to show off her coolest watch! However, to my utter disbelief, she glanced at it, threw it back at me and then said light-heartedly in her perfect Singlish, “Is it real or not? Must be faked la… You Chinese all love to buy faked products…” What a heart attack! Why do people always hold those stereotypes against people of different backgrounds? I was speechless and silently watched her walk away. It was meaningless to talk more about it and prove her that my new watch is actually not faked.
Since then, I never spoke to her again because the scar was already there. I could forgive her now because I believe that everyone does some bad things during teenage years. The moral of this story is that we should never hold any negative stereotypes against people. This rule is crucial in inter-cultural communications. Very often, we match the stereotypes and people in a sub-conscious way. “Oh he is from China, so he must spit a lot.” “ He must be very poor because he is from a developing country.” “The litter must be thrown by him because he is from a third world country.” These stereotypes should be avoided by all means. Only then could we communicate with sincerity and respect.
Hey Xi Xi,
ReplyDeleteIts sad to hear of your bad experience. I believe that people like this who stereotype are everywhere. Who would dare to say that they have never stereotype ever in their life? Often, we form a impression of someone even before we meet them. However, this may cloud our vision and perception from who that person really is.
It is common among Singaporeans as well. I had a friend who is reluctant to say which secondary school he is from. He is from Raffles Institution and he say that people form an impression of him as being arragont when he told them that. He hates it hence decided to not mention it unless being asked. However, in fact he is quite humble. Therefore, we should never put people in a "template" just because of their background. Like you said, it is only then we are able to meet people with sincerity and see who they really are.
I am sure that if that friend of yours is sensible, she would grow up regretting that she said those word and I am glad you take it now in such a positive light ;)
Hi Xi Xi,
ReplyDeleteA well-thought and "real" post I would say. I am from a developing country too so I can understand it pretty well- the "stereotypes". Anyway you mentioned the inter-cultural conflict in a very brief manner which is appreciable. Here are some key points:
1) I love it very much and wear it---> and wore it ( Past tense)
2) From then on-----> Since then
3)Some of the sentences are quite popular in spoken English but do sound informal while writing.
I hope you will understand this. Apart from this 7Cs wise it is fine.
I really respect you of your behavior when when you did not speak a word after she left. It may not be case with many people. Sometimes this is the best way to react and handle such situations. You are very correct disregarding stereotypical behavior. When it will disappear so shall disappear many of the inter-cultural conflicts at global level. Unity shall only then prevail.
Thanks for a good post. Cheers!!!
Hi Xi Xi! (:
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing this personal recount. I'm not surprised the incident left you feeling angry and indignant back then. I'm also very impressed by how you were able to keep your composure, handling the situation with such maturity and calmness, even at that young age.
It is too true that many people judge others based on stereotypes. And I have witnessed many ugly incidences of this as well. Some even go as far as cracking hurtful jokes about people from certain socioeconomic backgrounds/races/religions, etc., just because they are different.
Well, the whole incident just showed your classmate's sheer ignorance. And rudeness. Thank goodness you were well above such behaviour. (:
Thanks for this heart-felt post, XiXi, about not just an incident that has stayed with you after all these years, but also about the bigger issue of stereotyping and its negative repercussions. Your story perfectly illustrates how such stereotyping can interfere with a single act of communication in such a way that no more communication takes place (you never spoke with the culprit again). In fact, if you look at human history you can see the extent to which so much tragedy, from homicide to genocide, has been born and bred in the simple stereotype. This is a topic that should be discussed in every course focusing on students developing more effective communication skills because, as you note, respect is impossible without a realization of how misguided and damaging the stereotype really is.
ReplyDeleteHi Xixi,
ReplyDeleteFirst and foremost, I have got to admit that more often than not, stereotyping is really hurtful most of the time, especially when it reflects about a negative aspect of one's culture. In this case, your friend is really disrespectful about Chinese but I'm really impressed with your patience to not pursue the matter. However, it seems like the incident has had much effect on you, seeing that you still remember it vividly even after so long. Hope you will not take it to heart and prove to other people that Chinese are great in many aspects as well!
Like Shivam, I agree that you lack in the aspect of correctness to some extent. But like all of your other posts, the conciseness is definitely still evident. Great job! (:
Hi Xi Xi,
ReplyDeleteIn the last paragraph, "I never spoke to her again because the scar is already there.", "...I believe that everyone made mistakes during their teenage years.", and "Only after that we can communicate with sincerity and respect."
Wyhow